or How I lost my flame-retardent coating
Published on March 8, 2004 By pushmi-pullyu In Personal Relationships
Having read over Marvin C.'s "extensive" homophobic articles, I find myself offended on behalf of my friends that are homosexual, both male and female. And to set your mind at ease, Marvin, I am a certified heterosexual.
Similar to your friend that "came out", I have a friend from when I was in the Army who is gay and let me know so in no uncertain terms about his choice to be so. Having grown up in a midwestern, rural, god-fearing place I was initially no less than abhorred that a man could choose to seek gratification in the company of another. As such, I shunned my friend for nearly a month.
Eventually, I came to the realization by myself that my friend was still my friend, regardless of what he chose for his sexuality.
Was I right in condemning him at the start for his choices? No, because it wasn't up to me to make choices concerning the way that he wanted to live his life. Nor was I in a postion to be able to pass judgement on him or his choices, as I was no more or less a man than he is.
Neither was I justified in cutting off any relationship that we had. He was gay before we met, and he has remained so. He hasn't become any less of a person because of this, and he is still the same person that I befriended.
By overcoming my own "flame-retardent" tendencies and misgivings, I was able to gain a greater insight and understanding to the lives and concerns of another group of people that I have found to be just as kind, loving, and understanding (and in some cases more so) as those that I had encountered otherwise.

Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Mar 08, 2004
Thank you very much for posting this. I haven't yet been to see Marvin C's blog as I can't afford the time to be really outraged right now. As a friend to many queers I just want to say one thing, it isn't a choice, you are born gay or straight and most queers know it from the time they are very young. It's irreversible unless they want to live a lie in misery.
on Mar 08, 2004
"A friend to many queers" - Oh dear, I bet you're one of those women whose only friends are gay men because they "understand" you

Leave the poor chap Marvin alone, He has just as much right to his opinions as the homosexuals have to be homosexual. It's a free world whether you're straight or poofter!
on Mar 08, 2004
I wont say all of them are born that way.   Coming from someone who's very liberal and has gay friends....some of them are born that way, and others seem to escape to it.
on Mar 08, 2004
Not everyone who believes homosexuality is wrong is a "homophobe". I am sick and tired of the word "homophobe" being used to force the idea that "homosexuality is normal" on everyone.
on Mar 08, 2004
Exactly!!!
on Mar 08, 2004
good post and thanks for your comments. Keep in mind here though, that SPM & TC are homophobes themselves, in case it's not obvious.
on Mar 08, 2004
Not everyone who believes homosexuality is wrong is a "homophobe".


Yes, they are. What percentage of the population has to possess a certain quality before it's considered "normal"? There are more homosexuals in the world than there are citizens of Fiji. Is it abnormal to be a citizen of Fiji?
on Mar 08, 2004
Randyspire you really should do your research before you accuse people of being anti gay, i refer you to an article i wrote yesterday Link I look forward to reading your apology!


on Mar 08, 2004
good post and thanks for your comments. Keep in mind here though, that SPM & TC are homophobes themselves, in case it's not obvious


Let's get one thing straight: I am not a homophobe. As far as I understand, a person must hate homosexuals to be a homophobe. I do not believe homosexuality is normal but I do not hate those that are homosexuals. Liberals who label those who disagree wtih the homosexual lifestyle as homophobes are showing their intolerance of other people's right to believe what they want to believe. By being intolerant, these liberals are themselves being bigots.
on Mar 08, 2004
Liberals who label those who disagree wtih the homosexual lifestyle as homophobes are showing their intolerance of other people's right to believe what they want to believe. By being intolerant, these liberals are themselves being bigots.


You do not have the right to believe whatever you want to believe, and refusal to tolerate moronic, baseless beliefs is not bigotry. Is criticizing the beliefs of a white supremacist bigotry? Get a clue, homophobe.
on Mar 08, 2004
Of course only homophobes are against homosexuality, just like only Gothophobes don't totally embrace the Goths, and Preppyphobes don't embrace the Preppies. Only a bigot would disapprove of another person's lifestyle (whether it be hedonism, drug addiction, goth vampirism, or Scientology) that they chose. Also, not believing that homosexuality is all natural (even though there's no scientific proof whatsoever) makes you a homophobe as well.
Anyway, I really liked your article. I feel the same way as you. I don't buy the whole "oh it's genetic even though there's no evidence whatsoever that it is" argument, but even though homosexuality is a choice (much like falling in love is a choice), as you said, there's still nothing wrong with someone being that way.
on Mar 08, 2004
You do not have the right to believe whatever you want to believe, and refusal to tolerate moronic, baseless beliefs is not bigotry. Is criticizing the beliefs of a white supremacist bigotry? Get a clue, homophobe.


Look Hitler, people have the right to believe whatever they want to believe. For example, a white supremist has a right to hate black people but does not have the right to act out on his feeliings of hate by killing or harming black people. The fact that you label me a homophobe proves to me that you do not understand what I am saying and proves that you are bigoted towards those who disagree with you on issues related to homosexuality.
on Mar 08, 2004
'As far as I understand, a person must hate homosexuals to be a homophobe."

And what you show is your ignorance, because you are using a wrong definition. homophobes are not people who hate queirs. homophobes are those who are afraid (hence 'phobe'). meaning you don't understand them or your own queir aspects and are therefore afradi of them. we are afraid of things we don't know or understand.

so before y'all go on and on about what you think about homophobia, you should first at least understand the most very basic premise of what you think you're trying to tlak about, like an accurate definition. and more on, it is typical of you top think is has something to do with hate, that says more about you than it does who homophobes are. and hence, . . . . like i said in the first place.
on Mar 08, 2004
I am not afraid of homosexuals, therefor I am not a homophobe.
on Mar 08, 2004
Ok.
So then we have a question. Someone who is hostile in thought or deed to a particular race of people is considered a racist. For the hatred of women it is a misogynist. Sincre we are talking about specifics, and since homophobe is the accepted but linguistically incorrect term, what is the name of a person who is hostile in thought or deed to homosexuals? Homogynist?

Strictly speaking.

IG
2 Pages1 2